Ephesians 5v21-33
O Father,
Please forgive me for my many sins. I shudder when I think back through my day’s sins: the missed opportunities to show Your love to another; the times my thoughts dwell on things they ought not; elevation of myself at the expense of demonstrating Your glory and sufficiency in my life; the times I charge forward into sin, recklessly handling the grace that was so costly for You to provide me; the many times I respond to Your commandments with a defiant, “No”, instead trusting myself to carry out a plan. I wish I could say that I shudder because I’m that righteous, but that’s not why I shudder. I shudder because I’m amazed at how patient You are with me. I’m thankful Your ways are higher than mine, and that Your thoughts are higher than mine (Isaiah 55:9). I would surely have perished in Your wrath were You any less. Please have mercy on my soul, for my sins are many, and my weakness is too much to bear at times. Please elevate Your name through me at the expense of my reputation, my ego, my “fame.” I know that I must decrease in order for Your name to rightly increase (John 3:30); I beg You to make this come to pass. You are worthy of all my praise, not only because You created everything that my eyes see to glorify Your name, but also because You purchased me with the costly blood of Your Son, of which there is nothing more precious. Please make this sink into my thick head. Thank You for being perfectly righteous in Your perfect love, grace, mercy, faithfulness, commandments, judgments, and wrath. Thank You for rescuing my heart and soul to a better inheritance (Hebrews 12:28,29), when I was unable to make this decision (John 6:44; 1 Corinthians 2:14) because of the deadness of my sinful character. For the elevation of Your Son’s name, I ask these things as humbly as I am able.
I have been reading through Ephesians the past several nights, and I hit a snag tonight as I was reading. I actually came across it last night, but it was too late to dive into then. I have read this passage many times, and I don’t claim to understand it exactly, but I do know that it’s in the Word of God, therefore I have the responsibility to try to understand and apply it in my life. The specific Ephesians reference is: Ephesians 5:21-33; there are other verses in the Bible that re-iterate this point, but I just want to try to begin to understand this one for now, Lord willing. It’s so difficult even for my mind to grasp, because I recognize the incredible potential in the hearts of mankind to distort this design, and indeed many have; the uninformed will call Christianity a religion of bigots, of male domination, etc. Certainly there must be something more; surely the Lord of the universe wrote exactly what He meant to say in Ephesians and in other “difficult” passages in the Bible. I must think that my explanation, however well intended, will miss something; I believe there is still a huge component of the roles of marriage, as they were intended by God, that remains veiled because of my sin.
The most important, encompassing theme of this entire passage is the mystery of marriage revealed in v. 32. Marriage is intended to be a metaphor/parallel for the relationship between Christ and the Church. Marriage is intended not only to be an institution for our enjoyment, but it is also intended to teach men and women how to subject themselves to Christ and to each other out of reverence for Christ (v.21). Beginning in v.28, the passage relates the husband loving his wife as being the same thing as the husband loving himself. Because the man and woman have joined, becoming one flesh (v.31; Genesis 2:24), loving your spouse is the same thing, in the eyes of the Lord, as loving yourself. Husbands are called to love their wives “as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Christ lived a life of complete sacrifice (Philippians 2:5-11); is there any way to love more than this? John 15:13 clearly answers this question with an emphatic, “No!”
Society’s massive efforts to “reshape” (pervert) marriage roles are not done cautiously. In fact, the marriage roles shift only with the consequence of obscuring the Lord’s original design in marriage, to glorify Himself. This is the end of all that He does. The original roles of husband and wife are rooted in the distinct roles of Christ and His Church. This is clearly seen in v.23-25. Wives are to find their distinctive role in marriage by keying off the way the Church relates to Christ (v.24). Husbands are to find their distinctive role in marriage by keying off the way Christ relates to the Church (v. 23, 25). All throughout Scripture, it would seem that the same verse read by husband and wife could be understood from a slightly different perspective because of their different given marriage roles. What an incredible learning opportunity for both husband and wife as they share and understand the Word together!
The unfortunate consequence of man’s sinful fall is the perversion of marriage roles, not because it brought headship and submission into existence, but rather because it twisted man’s humble, loving leadership into hostile domination in some, and lazy indifference in others. In women, it twisted their will, intelligent submission in to a manipulative, cringing submission in some, and open insubordination in others. Headship and submission were already present in the initial design for marriage; sin distorted these themes, as it does everything it (sin) touches.
These Scripture verses guard against husbands abusing their charge in marriage by telling them to love like Jesus loved the Church, and it does the same thing to the charge of wives by telling them to respond the way the Church responds to Christ.
Headship: the divine calling of a husband to take primary responsibility for Christ-like, servant leadership, protection and provision in the home.
Submission: the divine calling of a wife to honor and affirm her husband’s leadership and help carry it through according to her gifts.
While the husband and wife are both submitting themselves to each other (Ephesians 5:21), this does not have to be in the exact same way, and in fact it is not in the same way. Christ submitted himself to the Church in a way that cost Him His life. The Church submits to Christ in quite another way, honoring His leadership and following Him.
Luke 22:26 calls for the leader to be as one who serves. This protects against the free-license for power abuse in marriage. There is no way to get around this verse and distort what has been written. All leadership by the husband is intended to be in the form of serving. This parallels Christ exactly!
Submission by the wife is not intended to elevate the husband to the place of Christ. Submission does not mean the wife surrenders her thoughts to the husband, nor does it mean the wife has no input into decision-making. Again, we must be reminded of the parallel between Christ and the Church.
I don’t know if this is any clearer, and I’m certain this will be something that I will continually have to review and pray over, lest I abuse my role, if the Lord wills that I marry. I know that I’m not called to shy away from “difficult” passages of Scripture, but only to pray that the Spirit reveal to me what Truth is in what I’m reading. I know that I cannot understand spiritual things (1 Corinthians 2:14) unless the Holy Spirit reveals them to my heart. I pray that happens.
Please forgive me for my many sins. I shudder when I think back through my day’s sins: the missed opportunities to show Your love to another; the times my thoughts dwell on things they ought not; elevation of myself at the expense of demonstrating Your glory and sufficiency in my life; the times I charge forward into sin, recklessly handling the grace that was so costly for You to provide me; the many times I respond to Your commandments with a defiant, “No”, instead trusting myself to carry out a plan. I wish I could say that I shudder because I’m that righteous, but that’s not why I shudder. I shudder because I’m amazed at how patient You are with me. I’m thankful Your ways are higher than mine, and that Your thoughts are higher than mine (Isaiah 55:9). I would surely have perished in Your wrath were You any less. Please have mercy on my soul, for my sins are many, and my weakness is too much to bear at times. Please elevate Your name through me at the expense of my reputation, my ego, my “fame.” I know that I must decrease in order for Your name to rightly increase (John 3:30); I beg You to make this come to pass. You are worthy of all my praise, not only because You created everything that my eyes see to glorify Your name, but also because You purchased me with the costly blood of Your Son, of which there is nothing more precious. Please make this sink into my thick head. Thank You for being perfectly righteous in Your perfect love, grace, mercy, faithfulness, commandments, judgments, and wrath. Thank You for rescuing my heart and soul to a better inheritance (Hebrews 12:28,29), when I was unable to make this decision (John 6:44; 1 Corinthians 2:14) because of the deadness of my sinful character. For the elevation of Your Son’s name, I ask these things as humbly as I am able.
I have been reading through Ephesians the past several nights, and I hit a snag tonight as I was reading. I actually came across it last night, but it was too late to dive into then. I have read this passage many times, and I don’t claim to understand it exactly, but I do know that it’s in the Word of God, therefore I have the responsibility to try to understand and apply it in my life. The specific Ephesians reference is: Ephesians 5:21-33; there are other verses in the Bible that re-iterate this point, but I just want to try to begin to understand this one for now, Lord willing. It’s so difficult even for my mind to grasp, because I recognize the incredible potential in the hearts of mankind to distort this design, and indeed many have; the uninformed will call Christianity a religion of bigots, of male domination, etc. Certainly there must be something more; surely the Lord of the universe wrote exactly what He meant to say in Ephesians and in other “difficult” passages in the Bible. I must think that my explanation, however well intended, will miss something; I believe there is still a huge component of the roles of marriage, as they were intended by God, that remains veiled because of my sin.
The most important, encompassing theme of this entire passage is the mystery of marriage revealed in v. 32. Marriage is intended to be a metaphor/parallel for the relationship between Christ and the Church. Marriage is intended not only to be an institution for our enjoyment, but it is also intended to teach men and women how to subject themselves to Christ and to each other out of reverence for Christ (v.21). Beginning in v.28, the passage relates the husband loving his wife as being the same thing as the husband loving himself. Because the man and woman have joined, becoming one flesh (v.31; Genesis 2:24), loving your spouse is the same thing, in the eyes of the Lord, as loving yourself. Husbands are called to love their wives “as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Christ lived a life of complete sacrifice (Philippians 2:5-11); is there any way to love more than this? John 15:13 clearly answers this question with an emphatic, “No!”
Society’s massive efforts to “reshape” (pervert) marriage roles are not done cautiously. In fact, the marriage roles shift only with the consequence of obscuring the Lord’s original design in marriage, to glorify Himself. This is the end of all that He does. The original roles of husband and wife are rooted in the distinct roles of Christ and His Church. This is clearly seen in v.23-25. Wives are to find their distinctive role in marriage by keying off the way the Church relates to Christ (v.24). Husbands are to find their distinctive role in marriage by keying off the way Christ relates to the Church (v. 23, 25). All throughout Scripture, it would seem that the same verse read by husband and wife could be understood from a slightly different perspective because of their different given marriage roles. What an incredible learning opportunity for both husband and wife as they share and understand the Word together!
The unfortunate consequence of man’s sinful fall is the perversion of marriage roles, not because it brought headship and submission into existence, but rather because it twisted man’s humble, loving leadership into hostile domination in some, and lazy indifference in others. In women, it twisted their will, intelligent submission in to a manipulative, cringing submission in some, and open insubordination in others. Headship and submission were already present in the initial design for marriage; sin distorted these themes, as it does everything it (sin) touches.
These Scripture verses guard against husbands abusing their charge in marriage by telling them to love like Jesus loved the Church, and it does the same thing to the charge of wives by telling them to respond the way the Church responds to Christ.
Headship: the divine calling of a husband to take primary responsibility for Christ-like, servant leadership, protection and provision in the home.
Submission: the divine calling of a wife to honor and affirm her husband’s leadership and help carry it through according to her gifts.
While the husband and wife are both submitting themselves to each other (Ephesians 5:21), this does not have to be in the exact same way, and in fact it is not in the same way. Christ submitted himself to the Church in a way that cost Him His life. The Church submits to Christ in quite another way, honoring His leadership and following Him.
Luke 22:26 calls for the leader to be as one who serves. This protects against the free-license for power abuse in marriage. There is no way to get around this verse and distort what has been written. All leadership by the husband is intended to be in the form of serving. This parallels Christ exactly!
Submission by the wife is not intended to elevate the husband to the place of Christ. Submission does not mean the wife surrenders her thoughts to the husband, nor does it mean the wife has no input into decision-making. Again, we must be reminded of the parallel between Christ and the Church.
I don’t know if this is any clearer, and I’m certain this will be something that I will continually have to review and pray over, lest I abuse my role, if the Lord wills that I marry. I know that I’m not called to shy away from “difficult” passages of Scripture, but only to pray that the Spirit reveal to me what Truth is in what I’m reading. I know that I cannot understand spiritual things (1 Corinthians 2:14) unless the Holy Spirit reveals them to my heart. I pray that happens.
posted by Frank Bob at 7:20 PM
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