Monday, May 01, 2006

the Worm

the Worm. . .

Romans 7:15-21 I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand.

John 15:5 I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.

Matthew 7:17-20 So, every healthy tree bears good fruit, but the diseased tree bears bad fruit. A healthy tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a diseased tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus you will recognize them by their fruits.

Psalm 51:12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.

Lord, please forgive me. I have been short in my private prayer, barely giving You lip service in my quiet times, and it’s reflected in my actions and my thoughts. The things I don’t want to do, I find myself doing. The thoughts I don’t want to think, I fail to even put up a fight against. You command me to dwell on things that are good, commendable, lovely, worthy of praise, yet my thoughts are sinking in the mire of my sinful nature. Lord, please forgive me for being me.

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

I can do nothing apart from You, and I desperately need Your touch in my life, because I feel as though I am doing just that . . . nothing, for Your Kingdom. Please restore me, not so I can feel comfortable about my walk with You, but rather so that I can honor You and worship You the way You command me to. I recognize that You mandate what makes an obedient servant, not me. May I fall on the precepts of Scripture, not depending on the “logic” of my mind, for instruction. Let my appetite be satisfied in You alone, not settling for the vanities of this world. I could daily pray the same prayer over and over to You without changing a word, and it would never cease to be true. I am an unsteady, idolatrous person, my heart is wicked and deceitful, and I am unable to do any good; I need Your grace and Your mercy and Your patience every hour of my life in order to bring honor to Your name. I humbly beg You to make this so.

the Broken Heart
O Lord,
No day of my life has passed that has not
proved me guilty in thy sight.
Prayers have been uttered from a prayerless heart;
Praise has been often praiseless sound;
My best services are filthy rags.
Blessed Jesus, let me find a covert in thy appeasing wounds.
Though my sins rise to heaven thy merits soar above them;
Though unrighteousness weighs me down to hell,
thy righteousness exalts me to thy throne.
All things in me call for my rejection,
All things in thee plead my acceptance.
I appeal from the throne of perfect justice
to thy throne of boundless grace.
Grant me to hear thy voice assuring me:
that by thy stripes I am healed,
that thou wast bruised for my iniquities,
that thou hast been made sin for me
that I might be righteous in thee,
that my grievous sins, my manifold sins, are all forgiven,
buried in the ocean of thy concealing blood.
I am guilty, but pardoned,
lost, but saved,
wandering, but found,
sinning, but cleansed.
Give me perpetual broken-heartedness,
Keep me always clinging to thy cross,
Flood me every moment with descending grace,
Open to me the springs of divine knowledge,
sparkling like crystal,
flowing clear and unsullied
through my wilderness of life.

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